The Sundered Query (next draft)

Thank you so much for your feedback, everyone! I’ve tried to incorporate your comments into this next draft. Please let me know how it strikes you!

The world is flooded, technology is all but gone, and  Harry Iskinder is crazy enough to think there’s hope.

The mysterious “Hope of Humanity” is supposed to fix everything: water that kills on contact, suffocated cities crowded onto small swatches of land, and most importantly, the dwindling Sundered Ones. The Sundered are an alien species with strange abilities and broken minds, powerful enough to alter matter at will, but incapable of disobeying human beings. They’re also the source – the only source – for edible food, new construction, and drinkable water, and they’re going extinct.

Desperate, Harry searches for the Hope until a chance encounter with a powerful Sundered One hurtles him into a centuries-old conspiracy of secrets and deceit. Now he faces a terrible choice: protect the Hope, continuing to believe it’s humanity’s last chance, or destroy it, because it might be a Sundered weapon designed to end mankind.

THE SUNDERED is an intense 98,000 word “soft” sci-fi novel set in a world where hope is pitted against truth, and where every choice has consequences. It will appeal to readers of Harlan Ellison, Ursula K. LeGuin, and anyone who enjoys speculative fiction, character-driven conflict, and situations with difficult-to-determine morality.

9 thoughts on “The Sundered Query (next draft)”

  1. Now, that’s a good query. The flow is much improved, the stakes are clear, and it’s action oriented. Bravo!

  2. Now, that’s a good query. The flow is much improved, the stakes are clear, and it’s action oriented. Bravo!

  3. Now, that’s a good query. The flow is much improved, the stakes are clear, and it’s action oriented. Bravo!

  4. I love this query! It’s thoughtful, poetic and engaging. The only thing I would drop are the quotes around “soft” due to the frequent over-use and therefore annoyance in the industry when people use them to convey implied emotion. In fact, it’s sci-fi, so let the person reading it sort into which sub-category and drop the soft. It may have negative connotations to some. Your queries just keep getting better. Keep going!

  5. I love this query! It’s thoughtful, poetic and engaging. The only thing I would drop are the quotes around “soft” due to the frequent over-use and therefore annoyance in the industry when people use them to convey implied emotion. In fact, it’s sci-fi, so let the person reading it sort into which sub-category and drop the soft. It may have negative connotations to some. Your queries just keep getting better. Keep going!

  6. I love this query! It’s thoughtful, poetic and engaging. The only thing I would drop are the quotes around “soft” due to the frequent over-use and therefore annoyance in the industry when people use them to convey implied emotion. In fact, it’s sci-fi, so let the person reading it sort into which sub-category and drop the soft. It may have negative connotations to some. Your queries just keep getting better. Keep going!

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