This is going to be a good year. I won’t let it be anything else. 🙂
1.Get in better shape with even more regular visits to the gym.
2. Get that house emptied. There is so much stuff it’s absurd.
3. Write like a madwoman.
4. Find a way to ease my husband’s physical pain. I still haven’t found one yet. There MUST be something.
5. Read. A LOT. My Old Testament knowledge is definitely slipping.
6. Did I mention write? Madwoman-style?
And that, I think, is a pretty full amount. This doesn’t include potential moving, potential family-caretaking, potential agent-and-or-publishing. See, whether we move, whether family needs care, or whether I find an agent and get published… those things are out of my control. I am only responsible for what is.
Finally understanding that is, I think, the best thing I’ve gotten out of 2009.
For that matter… here’s a fantastic set of questions to ask yourself regarding the last year.
1. If the last year were a movie of your life, what would the genre be?
I fear it would be a chick-flick, but not the romantic kind. No, this would be the kind where the heroine discovers all kinds of things about herself, about life, about her faith and experiences and understanding, suffers absurdly when she doesn’t have to, and finally finds a balance.
2. What were the two or three major themes that kept recurring?
God saying, “Trust me yet? No? Okay, you’ll have to learn the hard way, then.” Giving up attachments to creature comforts. Happiness has nothing to do with physical circumstances. Learning to forgive things I used to excuse because they were too hard to face. Priorities. Even among those whom I love.
3. What did you accomplish this past year that you are the most proud of?
Finally conquering the asthma enough to run again. Finishing Guardian and sending it out into the scary, scary world. Helping friends who needed it. Playing piano in church again at last. Saying “no.”
4. What do you feel you should have been acknowledged for but weren’t?
Saying “no.” Finally being willing to admit I’ve been lied to by someone I love – and then getting over it. Cooking. I don’t think I can ever fully explain how emotionally trying it is every time I pick up a pan.
5. What disappointments or regrets did you experience this past year?
The company Duane poured his soul into basically spit it back at him to save a few dollars. I should have written more. I can write more; too often, I let myself be distracted. I’m still at my wedding weight, but I’m not fit. This is bad.
6. What was missing from last year as you look back?
More time reading the Bible and praying. More time working on my life instead of angsting about things I can’t control.
7. What were the major life-lessons you learned this past year?
Worrying, fretting, freaking out over family and friends making bad decisions doesn’t do a thing but make me miss my own goals. My husband loves what I cook because he loves me. I am a writer. I am also a musician. For the first time, I understand these are not in conflict.
So there you go. I hope your 2009 was as powerful, though hopefully not angst-filled. May 2010 be fantastic.